My Single Change That Made a Difference: How I Overcame After-Work Tension Through an Surprising Find in the Loft

I often feel as tense as a wound-up clock after work. Tension grips my shoulders, breathing becomes rapid and shallow. Typically, closing my laptop with a thud used to lead to the pop of a cork from a wine bottle, wine poured quickly into a glass, that first mouthful putting a much-needed full stop on the working day.

Later, a few months ago, I came across an old school recorder belonging to my grown son up in the loft. I idly blew into it, immediately transported back to the days it was the bane of my life – his daily rehearsals felt like an attack on my ears, the piercing shriek still reverberating through my head long after he slept.

But rather than consigning it to the bin, I took it down, together with a beginner’s songbook. Growing up, I was the least musical child ever. I took recorder classes in primary school, yet never got to try other instruments.

Googling “how to play the recorder”, I viewed many kid-friendly YouTube clips, and printed out a fingering chart. Looking up simple recorder songs, I felt excited when I played a recognizable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Admittedly, it was something your average five-year-old could master before first break, yet for a stressed, impatient, musically-challenged adult, it seemed like a major triumph.

My son asked what the hell I was doing (and please could I stop), but I kept going – I liked the way the recorder made me feel. Forgetting notes easily forced me to focus on the music sheet, and carefully mimic the finger placements. My breath calmed, my attention sharpened, and after nailing that initial shaky melody, I felt euphoric. I had managed to play music.

Now, several months later, I can handle other children’s songs and a passable Ode to Joy. Sure, my rhythm is off, and I still need to write the names of the notes down, but for me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it is simply about the pleasure it brings and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which was no doubt music to parents’ ears, but it made me a little sad and nostalgic for my own school days, as well as my son’s.

I try to pick up my recorder every evening after work before I do anything else, and during those 20 minutes, I escape into my own realm. Afterward, I feel totally energised and uplifted.

My friends think it’s hilarious, but one very wise therapist friend told me that I was reducing stress, but improving my cognitive skills, like memory and sound processing, which is precious at my age. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s truly an ode to joy.